Recently my husband came into my office. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to my desk. He was wearing a solemn serious look, the one he puts on right before stating something profound. The conversation went something like this.
My husband – “If something happened to me, would you stay in Bend?”
My response (after giving his question some thought) – “No.”
I followed up his question by repeating it back to him, “Would you stay in Bend if something happened to me?”
My husband – “NO!!!”
His next question was, “Then what are we doing here?”
My husband and I came to Bend 20 years ago for career and volunteer opportunities but both have come and gone. We are fully retired now and ready to do more of what we love – spending time outdoors, well with a qualifier.
We enjoy the outdoors when it’s not snowing, or freezing, or raining ice. So, for a few months out of the year, we are trapped in our homes watching the snowy world pass by. It was fine when I was working, I didn’t have time to go out and play, but not anymore. So, after months of discussion, some serious Zillow shopping, and a mad dash to visit a few potential locations, we are moving! We purchased a home in Northern California, not solely because our senior bodies don’t respond as well to the cold weather, but also to get closer to family.
You’re probably wondering why I’ve rambled on about this change in my life. I share it with you, to tell you this – when God places a dream in your heart, you might as well start packing your boxes.
Six, maybe seven years ago my husband and I had a similar discussion about moving. We even visited some locations but it wasn’t the right timing. And then our grandson and his mother moved to town, a new job and ministry opportunity opened up, my husband’s coaching activities grew and we knew we belonged here in Bend. But the years have a way of changing things and now there is an open door God is nudging us to walk through.
It’s not without some apprehension that we make this shift. We are leaving friends, the peacefulness of a small town, and the familiarity that comes from living in a location for 20 years. But there is also much anticipation of what is in store for us in another sleepy little town surrounded by farmland. So, we’ve been packing boxes, lots and lots of boxes, all while balancing the angst of leaving and the anticipation of arriving.
At breakfast, the other day, my husband and I were talking about this struggle and it dawned on me that the process playing out for our move, is a reflection of how we live our lives each day. There is this balancing we do in our hearts and heads – navigating what we know while living in anticipation of what could come and somehow finding peace and hope. We pray for direction and at times get that little nudge to take a step. Yet at other times, there is silence and we wait, sometimes for years, to gain clarity and redirect.
I am learning that regardless if I get an immediate response or delayed direction, God’s timing is never late. I wasn’t ready to move 7 years ago. I hadn’t learned all God wanted me to learn by living here. I believe I am a better person for having stayed. I am also a better person for having carried the dream of what could be in my heart for a few years. I’ve had the time to play with ways to grow a ministry and now better understand the hearts and needs of family and friends near our new town. I am much more prepared having had the time. And that’s the funny thing about God, He plants seeds and as they grow, He nourishes them and prepares them for what He has in store.
The walls in our home are bare and there is an echo in each room. There are boxes everywhere and we are excited about what’s to come. Yet, there is fear, our home hasn’t sold yet, we are dipping into our nest egg, and that pesky “what if” keeps surfacing. But God has been very clear, keep packing those boxes, I’ve got this.
So, despite our apprehension, we are going to pack, look forward, thank God for what He’s given us, and live in anticipation of what is to come. It’s the only way to live, ready to move in rhythm with His leading.
2 thoughts on “Keep Packing Those Boxes!!”
What a beautiful statement, “It’s the only way to live, ready to move in rhythm with His leading.” ❤️ praying over the trepidation, that you may lean into Him more. During our move last year, I admitted to Tange that that was what I would miss the most, the absolute closeness to God when He was what I was entirely depending on for peace and for all aspects of the future.
Michelle, Thank you for your comments. I so agree, there is this feeling of closeness (intimacy) when we are totally dependent on God. It is my desire to maintain that connection beyond the move. Thank you for your prayers.