Recently I had the pleasure of spending 2-days with an amazing group of women. We spent time wandering the trails adjacent to the shaded banks of the Deschutes River, tried our hand at painting a landscape on canvas, and sorted through a collection of beads, stringing together treasured memories. Sprinkled throughout our time we tackled tough conversations. We discussed what occupies our days and how we find rest. We tried to expose the deception that plagues us all, the lie that somehow our busyness equates to our value and worth. Tough but much-needed conversations.

We had enough food to feed a small army. Yet our real nourishment came from feasting on the freedom of being able to remove our masks and share in authentic dialogue. Having a group of women, you can trust with your greatest burdens and unexplainable joys is a true gift.

Along with the tangible reminders of our time together, we left with a greater sense of community. The time and transparency opened the door for our foundation of trust to grow.   

We find the concept of community strewn across the pages of the Bible. Our churches encourage us to join small groups. Even mental health professionals recognize the benefits of forming connections. Yet, we often choose to do life in a vacuum. Allowing family and friends to come only as far as we can extend our arms to hold them safely away. Protecting our hearts from potential disappointment and criticism. We long for intimacy but are too fearful of the vulnerability required to form it.

I am a loner by nature, raised to be an independent thinker, and watched my parents tackle life alone. My education provided some of the tools needed to reinforce my upbringing and the current culture applauds my self-sufficiency. Yet when life’s struggles visit, I find what I built to protect myself is just an illusion. Slowly, and begrudgingly, I’m learning you need a village surrounding you to make it through life’s valleys and summit its peaks.

During our hike, we stumbled on a trail we thought would lead us home. But instead, it took us deeper into a thicket of trees, sheer rock face on one side and the rapids on the other. We scrambled over downed trees and watched brave souls free-climb the jagged overhangs. It is so funny how you can push forward on a path believing it will take you to your destination, only to find it’s taking you in a direction you never intended.

As we came to a dead-end, a member of the group suggested a path that led us up a hill, over rocks, and back to the dirt trail. Once back on more familiar ground, we found our path and headed home. Sometimes we need each other to help navigate the obstacles we face. Sometimes it takes a village to find our way.

I wonder how you are doing with forming an authentic community. Do you have someone willing to share the truth with love and kindness? Do you have a tribe that can help sustain you when life gets complicated? If you’re uncertain how to answer these questions, I’d suggest your journey is still in process.

Perhaps you are like me and think you don’t need support. Maybe you haven’t found that special person that has demonstrated they can be trusted. Or possibly, you are that person for others and can’t find the time or energy to build a network of your own. If this is all sounding vaguely familiar, then consider this.

From the moment God created man, he acknowledged, “It is not good for man to be alone….” He formed us with a need for himself and others. But as brokenness entered the world, humanity replaced those needs with self-sufficiency and control. We pretend we are enough and push ahead, scurrying around and over the boulders in our lives, hanging on by our fingertips to the illusion of self-control. We become our gods and then wonder why we are frustrated, angry, and sad. We were never designed to be alone. We were created for intimacy with God and in fellowship with one another.

So, if you are trying to negotiate your path under your power and strength, please take a few minutes to assess where you are going and determine if your path is leading you home.

Be Blessed His Beloved,

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up."