I Once Was …

Photo by Bing Photos

I once was proud, self-assured, and ready to demand the world take notice and listen. I pushed and pulled my way through classroom doors, up corporate ladders, and through barricaded boardrooms. I wanted to demonstrate my value, leave a mark, and walk taller than my mother and grandmother.

And then, I noticed a coldness creeping up my spine. I had achieved the career, built structures of importance, purchased the house and car, life was good. But coldness, crept closer to my heart leaving me wondering if all that climbing had benefitted anyone other than myself.

I once was arrogant, so full of my own knowledge and wisdom that no one could speak into my life or add clarity. I knew what to say and had all the words to say it just right. I knew how to influence and how to intimidate. I knew how to make all the right moves to capture attention, to conquer my world.

But life happens, people die, others leave, dreams fall apart and all that arrogance runs in the opposite direction. I was knocked to the ground; off the pedestal, I had meticulously built, left to pick up the pieces that were so badly damaged that I feared I would never be able to put them back together again.

I once was selfish; my hands clasped into proud fists, stuffed into my finely fitting jeans. They never opened to serve, never reached for the hurting, never rebelled against injustice. Life revolved around personal wants and needs – egotism is a disease that is difficult to self-diagnose and even harder to find a remedy.

Until consequence walked into my life. It walked right up to the front door, knocked, and once the door opened, pushed its way in. Slapped by consequence – the lost dream, the lost career, a lost love – your hands open and you learn to conquer the insidious self, reaching beyond your ego.

I once was broken, soul, mind, and heart all scattered on the floor. Small pieces clung to my bare feet as I moved from room to room. I carried the brokenness everywhere I traveled, depositing fragments, losing myself along the way.

But God…

He took the broken pieces and sacrificially put them back together again. His grace mending spirit, soul, and mind – fragments made whole.

I once was forgiven. All the pride, arrogance, selfishness – the brokenness I had scattered throughout my life and the pieces I collected from others, judged faultless.  I no longer had to carry the burdens of my past or work to reconcile the sins from today.

I once was…

But not anymore.

Today I am secure. Held firmly in my Father’s unconditional love, valued beyond recognition, safe eternally.

Be Blessed BeLOVED,


When I Lost My Heart to You (Hallelujah) – YouTube Music

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