Dads leave a legacy that influences us for a lifetime.

For some, the relationship makes us see the world with optimism and hope. We courageously walk in the world and know that a safety net is always available, a refuge forever near.

While for others, the connection teaches us to be cautious. To live our lives right on the edge of anxiety and vigilance. Hopefulness has been exchanged for a deep yearning, an endless pursuit for acceptance. A desperation that causes us to search for more (more love, more self-worth, more…).

Parents (Dads) are the ultimate role models for children. Every word, movement, and action has an effect. No other person or outside force has a greater influence on a child…

Bob Keeshan

My Dad died when I was in my early 30s. Our relationship was a melding of the courageous with a healthy dose of hopelessness – never feeling like I was quite enough. A delicate balance that has left me strong but wondering…

The one thing I remember about him was his eyes. There was a gentleness about them but it was the sadness that caught my attention. Life was hard for an 8-year-old to navigate on his own.

And then there was his smile. It stretched wide across his face. And when he smiled, his eyes would shift from sad to sweet, mischievous, childlike. Such a paradox – a hard life moved to a glimpse of joy.  

To say that my dad was a complicated man was an understatement. He worked hard, was a man of few words, and had a temper that could ignite spontaneously. Yet, he always took the time to share what he knew – how to bait a fishing hook, the best ways to plant a garden, and his secret recipe for tamales.

He taught me so much. Regardless of the circumstances, my tenacity to keep going was birthed through him. I can put hammer to nail and come out with a finished product and my love of Chinese food was found in him.

I knew he loved me; he told me so. But there were times that his temper caused a wedge. It made me vigilant, not wanting to ignite the flame.

I wished our relationship could have been different, deeper, just a little more. I would have relished more conversations, details about our family, his life with Mom, and more direction for the decisions I made or perhaps didn’t make. A touch, a hug, a word of encouragement meant so much; just a little more would have filled me.

But I know he did his very best, and I am forever grateful.

I love you, Dad.

Our dads make such an important, everlasting impact on our lives. Regardless of whether they are loving, abusive, unavailable, or present, they influence us, and fortunately or unfortunately, we often pass on what we’ve learned to our current and future relationships.

We carry their teachings throughout our lives.

I hope you take the time to tell your dad what he means to you this Father’s Day. And for those of you who no longer have your father physically near, remember their touch and their voice, and be reminded of the love you shared. If your dad brought fear instead of hope, consider that he did his best, and then find a place in your heart to begin to forgive.

Regardless of who your earthly dad may be, and how they have influenced your life, please remember you have a perfect heavenly Father that waits for you. He will never disappoint, never miss a need, is always available, and more than enough.

“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

2 Corinthians 6:18 New International Version (NIV)

Be Blessed,