The phone rang and a name popped onto the screen I hadn’t seen in years. It was a family friend and I was excited to catch up on life.

I pushed the “Answer” button and said, “What a wonderful surprise to see your name on my phone! How are you doing?” The voice on the other end responded, “Well, unfortunately, you’re going to be even more surprised.” She went on to explain that she was my friend’s sister and was calling to let me know that my friend had passed away a few months before.

One is never quite ready to hear the news of a death but certainly not the news of a family friend and so out of the blue.

He died suddenly, after a short battle with heart disease. The unofficial diagnosis, his heart stopped. His doctors said it wasn’t a heart attack, his heart just stopped.

It was a sobering reminder of how precious life is and that I should never take relationships for granted. It was also a gentle wake-up call to care for my family and friends well, cherish the time I have with them, and don’t waste energy on the trivial.

In the weeks following that call, I’ve had the opportunity to get to know my friend’s sister. Without even knowing it, we lived 10 minutes apart, share the same birth year, and treasure the memories of a gentle and gracious man. But I have noticed that our talks conjure up memories, some painful, some playful, but all fixed firmly in the past. And her perspective and mine are often different, each colored by our own perceptions and interactions. At this point, our thoughts about the past don’t matter as much as how we use our treasured memories to inform our present and the future. Trying to live in the past never works. But allowing the past to bring clarity to today, can provide healing.

If I close my eyes, I can see my friend’s face, hear his funny belly laugh, and I can see him slumbering across his living room floor. There was a peacefulness that surrounded all the challenges that went on in his life. Such a great example of how to be present and attentive in the midst of the hard.

I share this story only to suggest, please don’t take the relationships in your life for granted. They can come and go so quickly and please don’t allow the insignificant to keep you from those you love. In the end, what we are left with is not our stuff but all the memories of those we’ve loved. That is our truest treasure.

Be Blessed His BeLOVED,